World is Small

God only knows, why we keep hopes and expectation.. Today, I messed up with a good friend, just because, i was in a bad mood. Reason: I was just hoping something that i know, i shouldn't be doing and that i dont want to do it. But still i was thinking about the same thing. I tried to concentrate on my work, but unable to., Albeit, I tried not to think abt it, still was getting more and more depressed abt the same thing. I dont know why, i got such short tempered, for an hr or so. Very unlike me.. :(

Life, isn't just as easy ever. And now i think, i got something new for me to aim at. Something that i know was always there that i never realised and never worked for it. I was never afraid of hard working or for even spending more time at office. But somehow, i was distracted for some reason, from my work. Now i realised that it was the wrong thing i was doing as I lost touch with so many more important aspects of work. Good that my friend, made me realised in the easiest way to work, and work till you are satisfied . And well, I am satisfied and not yet satisfied, with the amount of work. Now i want not to give just what i can do, but also something that i can do better. I just missed how important it can be for me for my future. I guess, i will try to first bring me upto my expectations and then will try to excel in that. Just wish i have some more time to do. I now realise, that i can do more than what i always have been doing. Something extra, which can help me too.. And i...

:) Hmmmm, muh mein pani aa gaya. Buffet and that too, vegetarian, with lots of veg curries, gulab jamun, ice-cream, burfi, kheer, pakora, dahi bara, mango chutney, salad, and what not.. and all just for 9CAD. Well, last weekend, have been to Toronto, for the second time, to just roam arnd and visit arnd the Toronto downtown. Had a nice time, with good and new friends, whom i know only for past 1month ;) And well, that was worth a week off, from all the tensions of work and home, and all the tensions of unnecessary things/feelings passing by. Enjoyed my trip, and had nice paper masala dosa, and indian buffet food, in Gerrad Street. It was just like an Indian street, with ppl roaming on the roads, near the shops, panipuri, on the footpath. Loud music from the shops, all indian dresses hanging, all jewellery shops, indian kind. Well it was a place, worth seeing a little India, in a foreign land. If you are staying in or around Toronto, do not miss Gerrand street.

I could never explain, why i behave so differently sometimes. I would myself be surprised, the kind of feeling i get. A kind of feeling, so lonely, so desparate for something i dont know of, so unimportant. I feel sometimes, i am not worth of anything, a kinda feeling that wont let me do anything ahead. That wont let me think ahead. Something that forces me to be stagnant and stationary. Everypart of my body, especially the way i think will be unlike me. Will be so untrue. And whenever i try to judge it, i get more depressed and tensed. Whenever i try to indulge myself in more engrossed activities, like studies, work, etc i will end up over-stressing myself. I will end up burning myself. And such times, just doesnt pass away, without creating a negative effect on the close by friends, nearby relatives. And i dont know how to run away from this kinda situation... :( Kash bhagwan ne mujhe bhi "perfect to handle any situation" banaya hota :(

I dont know, how it generally feels, to find a childhood friend, and talk to them, after say, 15years. Well, i found my 5th class school friends, Tanuj aka tinku, Yashwant aka mithu and Archit (who refused to remember me). Yashwant was the one, with whom i used to go to school and play when we were small. We again re-covered old memories lost. It was nice talking to him after so long. God only knows, how was it possible, but in fact i have lost hopes, to meet/get in touch with him again. It was really nice. Tanuj, was the one who kinda looking for me on net, and kinda still remember me. Well thanks Tanuj for making me feel, i m not lost yet, in this world. And someone from my memories, still looking for me. Archit, i m sort of a little angry, but i expected that, so i m not dissappointed. We were never in too much contact with each other, but i accept, i still remember you. And other toppers of our class, till 5th. I sort of always have compared my grades with my other friends, inCEERI...

I was also wondering the same, whats the news right now?? Why I havent written my blog page from so long.. Anyway whatever, it may be, i am back now, and i wont write again, that i will continue to write continously. Coz, its very difficult to keep secrets. Life is going on fantastic and happily.